FUCK THE PRESSUREEEE

Looking through my games library for things to play for this weeks review, I stumbled upon a game I have no recollection of purchasing: Pressure. Intrigued, I went online and instantly searched for a gameplay video, to see what the game was about. Needless to say, I enjoyed what I had seen and proceeded to instantly download the title and start playing. Pressure is a top down driving shooter that doesn’t push any boundaries when it comes to reinventing the genre, but does make itself stand out with its fantastic design and art style. You control a car as you race through 30 different levels and 3 bosses, killing as many enemies as possible whilst also trying to race to the end of the level as fast as possible. You have 2 bars that track your progress through a level, your health and your pressure. Health is pretty self explanatory,…

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FUCK THE VERTICES

I stumbled upon Fotonica whilst browsing notonsteam.com, a website committed to popularising indie games that deserve recognition, but aren’t getting said recognition due to their inability to get on Steam. Fotonica stood out to me, with it’s sharp graphics and weird name, I decided to take the plunge and paid the developers the whole $2.99 they were asking for (It’s on sale at 50% off right now). All I can say is: I’m certainly glad I took the plunge. The mechanics of Fotonica are simple enough, it’s an endless runner game that gives you the task of surviving for as long as possible by jumping over gaps between platforms. You’ll pick up the controls in no time, and from there on out its a case of learning the levels to make sure you get as many points as possible in your run up to the end of a level. Each level…

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FUCK THE SCREEENSSS

Game Dev Tycoon has been out for a while, but it only came out on Steam on August 29th, meaning it now has full Steam integration. Achievements, steam in-game layout, means that the popular game for pirates has now become a official down to earth proper game. I’ve been looking forward to this version of the game for a while, and finally getting it on release day I spent the next 2 days playing 8 hours of the game. Game Dev Tycoon gives you control of a lone man who must make games for a living from his garage to start becoming a major part of the games industry. As you make more and more games, you can start renting out bigger buildings and more employees, which in turn makes bigger and better games for reviewers to give great reviews. It’s an endless cycle, one which’ll span 35 years of…

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FUCK THE SERVERSSS

I have fond memories of Torchlight on the 360, but after playing it for 14+ hours and 100% the game, I couldn’t help but feel a little deflated that there wasn’t more. Torchlight 2 came out 6 months after my first review, but due to other games and other things happening in my life, I gave it a pass as I knew I wouldn’t be able to give it the time and attention it deserved. Finally, I got Torchlight 2 for £4.99 when it was on sale in March, but even then I put playing it off until I had someone else to play with. I can safely say, that as of this week, I have played Torchlight 2 from start to finish. You start Torchlight 2 as you did the first game: selecting a class and a pet to go on your adventure with. From here, you get introduced…

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FUCK THE GIANTS

I started Reus with an open mind; I was never into God sims as a kid, and could never get into Black and White, the absolute king of the genre. But something about the promotional material and friends playtime peeked my interest in Reus, and in turn made me give the God Sim genre another go. I’m glad I did. You start of Reus with a  few tutorials to get you used to the basics of the game. You control giants which all have special, unique abilities, and you must use these abilities to the benefit of the humans inhabiting your world. There are 4 giants in total, which are as follows: The Ocean giant, swamp giant, rock giant and forest giant. Each of the giants have abilites that are quite self explanatory (£100 to anyone that can guess what each giant specialises in) but also have abilities that compliment…

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FUCK THE TITLESSSS

Organ Trail is a fantastic inventory management sim, one that scales back all graphics and polish to be as raw as possible.  It’s a strategy game at it’s best, making sure you’re not distracted by anything else but the task of keeping your party alive. You start Organ Trail shooting down zombies from the safety of a sandbag wall, mowing them down one by one until you run out of ammo. This triggers for a man to come out of the shadows and help you run down the last of the danger. You’re told that he can help you get to Washington DC, a place where your friends probably are. (A lovely side note here, you get to name your friends, which is hilarious further down the road when things start happening.) Once there, you’re tasked with scavenging items that will try and last you the rest of the game,…

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FUCK THE SELECTION

I was blown away by the Walking Dead back when I played it in January, as I’m sure many of you have heard from many publications, its a landmark game for story telling, and certainly has a uniqueness to it that’s hard to find elsewhere. 400 days is a piece of DLC to go on top of the walking dead, and is seen as a separate chapter on the chapter select screen. Each story is about 20 minutes in length, with a Epilogue that follows after completing each characters story. So for £3.99, its a nifty price for an adequate amount of content. Each story feels like a fully realised game in itself, with characters feeling extremely rich and deep. It makes you wonder what other game studios are doing with their writing staff, or whether Telltale Games have stole all the good writers of our time. When you select…

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FUCK THE GORILLAAAAA

For this week I wanted to review Poker Night At The Inventory, the first Telltale Games poker game, but I found that everytime I went to start a new tournament, the game would crash on my Mac, and since I have no access to a PC at this moment in time, I had to make do and play the second game in the series. This isn’t a bad thing at all, in fact I’ve heard the second game is definitely a lot better than the first, it’s just that I wanted to see the evolution of the series for myself, not take other peoples word on it. So without further adue, here are my impressions of Poker Night 2 by Telltale Games. So as you can tell from the title of the game, Poker Night 2 is a game about poker, with a sprinkling of recognisable characters as your rivals.This…

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FUCK RPG'S

Evoland has peeked my interest ever since I first laid my eyes on it. Similar to DLC quest, you travel through the world of a RPG, constantly upgrading the gameplay/graphics as you progress. This was enticing as DLC Quest was a very short game taking the mick out of the DLC culture, so I wanted to see what Shiro games brought to the table with Evoland, as their marketing approach was definitely different to say the least. You start the game as a 2D RPG, reminiscent of Final Fantasy games of yester-year. Only able to move in certain directions, you plod along opening chest after chest. Each chest gives the game a new look or feel, one chest gives the game colour, the other, the ability to move in all directions. It all quickly adds up, and soon you’re walking around the world like you’re in a Zelda game. The game doesn’t…

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EAT THE FUCKING CAKE

Following on from last week I decided to play Thirty Flights of Loving, the sequel to Gravity Bone. This one was kickstarted as part of the Idle Thumbs podcast, and eventually was released to steam for download. It follows on from the themes and story outlined in Gravity Bone, and even has more depth than the first. You start Thirty Flights of Loving as an agent that must find his way into a secret hide out. A small poster on the wall explains the controls, and with this the game sets you on your way. Its once you set out on your mission is where you  Now it may not be a coherent story, but its you that must do the job of making it one, constantly guessing whats coming next only for your presumptions to be turned upside down. Game mechanics are fairly straight forward, you no longer have…

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YOU GO UP!

I’ve wanted to play Antichamber since I first ever laid eyes on it about 2 years ago. It looked so different, and so fantastically intelligent, that I just wanted to experience this new way of gaming. It doesn’t go so far as to invent any new ways of gaming, but intelligently pushes you to the limits, ensuring you poke and prod the game environment until you understand its rules, and as a result, feel empowered in this puzzle world. You start Antichamber in a black empty room, with no context as to where you are, and what to do. You spin your mouse around to discover you’re in first person view. From here you can then adjust the settings of your computer using a wall, and just clicking the elements you want to change. Its a pretty nifty way of doing things, and I feel it’s quite intelligent game design…

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FUCKKKKK

Deadlight throws you into a realistic, post-apocalyptic world where a man can only move left and right. Joking aside, this is a truly realised world, where a simple platformer can have more depth and style then I’ve seen before (I shall overlook Limbo for now, although it is definitely in the same league.) Deadlight follows the story of Randell Wayne, a man who wakes up to all manner of chaos unfolding before him, at which point you have to take control of him and set off. During the course of the game, you’ll learn about Randells past, and his current relationship with other characters, ensuring that you’re clued up on what’s happening in this world. The main things you’ll be avoiding in this game are Zombies. These stupid, slow creatures feel slightly out of place in a platformer, but do allow for some interesting puzzle sequences (e.g. shouting for them…

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VVVVVV

VVVVVV was my first foray into Terry Cavanagh’s (Creator of Super Hexagon) games, which in my opinion is a fantastic jumping point into the madness and simplicity he’s become famous for. Although this was made 3 years ago, I still think it’s a fantastic example of how graphics aren’t what makes a game, and how the mechanics of a game are what keeps it interesting. VVVVVV looks like a classic 8bit retro game, it’s not much to look at, but it gets the job done. It conveys a captain on his ship who suddenly has inter-dimensional problems and loses all of his crew. Thus begins an epic adventure to find his shipmates, and bring them back. (A note to those who may not know, VVVVVV is named after the names of the 6 crew members: Captain Viridian, Doctor Violet, Doctor Victoria, Officer Vermillion, Professor Vitellary and Chief Verdigris.) Controls are…

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FUCK THE DOGS

Hotline Miami is a psychedelic tribute to many retro games of yester-year. It makes killing in a pixel world fun, and makes the challenge of who to kill and when a huge part of it’s appeal. You start out with a little bit of background, but after a few lines of dialogue you’re straight into the game, controlling your man as he goes around in his car, meeting friends at retail stores, and getting a bunch of free stuff. Every day you get a voicemail, telling you to go out to collect a delivery, or there’s a cleaning job for you at the telephone exchange. Each request sounds strange until you start to realise it’s actually all code talk for exterminating a gang in a certain location. Once you get to that location, you can don a mask, which will give you certain perks throughout that coming level. The beginning…

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DUDEEEE, LOOK AT ALL THE COLOURSSSSS

Proteus starts out how it means to go on, by giving you an island which is free to explore, and doesn’t tell you a thing. You make the story here, the game just merely gives you the tools to make it. You start off Proteus in the middle of the sea, and what lies before you is a island. This island, we are told, is randomly generated, similar to Minecraft. But somethings different, note quite right. We’re told it’s random, but the island seems too perfect to be random. Statues appear on top of a mountain, as if they were placed there by an artist; paths and trees envelop the island, but it all seems to be laid out so right that it can’t be random, can it? Turns out it is random. Multiple playthroughs show that the island is always different, always random, but the art assets are always placed in…

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90/94