FUCK THE PLANETTTT

The Swapper was recently on Steams Halloween sale, and having heard a lot of positive buzz about it this past summer, I decided to take the plunge and give it a go. Giantbomb praised it in their podcast, and I felt this indie studio needed all the help they could get, and in hindsight, £3.50 wasn’t a pad price to pay for such a solid game. The game starts out with some fantastic cut scenes that starts with your character being sent to a planet from a space station. Upon landing, you can take control of your character, and proceed to explore the planet on which you’ve landed. Eventually, you come across a strange looking device, one that allows you to make clones of yourself and switch your “soul” between them. It’s an interesting premise, one that The Swapper makes good use of, with puzzles that’ll push you to your…

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FUCK THE SKIN TEXTURESSSSS

Crysis was the brilliant successor to Far Cry, a game that was original and ground breaking for its time. Giving you the ability to approach any mission how you liked, Fay Cry set a trend that the games industry would follow for quite some time, Crysis took the torch and continued this trend to new heights. Crysis 2 was only the natural successor that took this torch to a new audience: the console gamer. In order to cater to this new gamer, the Crytek team had to dramatically change a lot of what made Crysis, Crysis. It was a shame, but a necessary evil to cater to this new market of customers, so the nano suit was revised to make for quick and easy allocation of powers, and the graphics were scaled down to compensate for the console’s lack of power. Don’t get me wrong, Crysis 2 is still a…

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FUCK THE HEARTTTTT

Like most of my steam collection, I’ve owned The Binding of Isaac (which will henceforth be shortened to Isaac to save my sanity) for a while now, but have never actually gotten around to playing it properly. That was the whole point of my one game a week idea, but in this time I’ve collected more and it’s becoming a impossible task to finish my game collection. I’d played Isaac before, for about an hour, and just couldn’t understand why people found it so addictive and enjoyable. That’s how it’s been left for years, until these last few weeks that is, I’ve been hooked, playing dozens of hours of the game to try and beat the game over and over again. The game starts out with a little intro to let you know the plot of Isaac before giving you the main menu. The general gist of the story is…

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FUCK THE PRESSUREEEE

Looking through my games library for things to play for this weeks review, I stumbled upon a game I have no recollection of purchasing: Pressure. Intrigued, I went online and instantly searched for a gameplay video, to see what the game was about. Needless to say, I enjoyed what I had seen and proceeded to instantly download the title and start playing. Pressure is a top down driving shooter that doesn’t push any boundaries when it comes to reinventing the genre, but does make itself stand out with its fantastic design and art style. You control a car as you race through 30 different levels and 3 bosses, killing as many enemies as possible whilst also trying to race to the end of the level as fast as possible. You have 2 bars that track your progress through a level, your health and your pressure. Health is pretty self explanatory,…

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I’ve always noticed Anna on the Steam store, appearing here and there whenever I boot up my PC, but I never took the time to find out what it was. Eventually, I watched the trailer video and looked through some screenshots, and decided that it was easily worth the couple of quid Steam was asking for, every sale helps to feed a developer right? Well the first time I booted up the game, I was introduced to a screen that wanted my username and password, something I didn’t have and I had no intention of making. Upon pressing cancel, I couldn’t go any further, the game just closed and wouldn’t let me do anything unless I registered or already had a account. This was extremely frustrating, and goes against the first rule of business/game design: don’t annoy the customer. The customer is doing you a favour by buying your product,…

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FUCK THE MOOOONNNN

To the Moon is a 4-5 hour game from the creative mind of Kan Gao of Freebird Games, that takes you on a emotional roller coaster through a deep story, rich characters, and seemingly fantastic locations. The fourth game to come from Kan, it’s certainly one of his best, and easily tugs at your heart strings and makes you want to play more and more to conclude the epic story. You start To the Moon playing as a pair of scientists(/doctors/employees? Who knows, they’re in white doctors jackets so they must be important) that accidentally get into a car accident on their way to a old, drying man. You make your way up the hill where you crashed, to find a huge house on the cliff edge overlooking the sea and a lighthouse. The characters you control acknowledge that this was the place they were meant to be, and proceed…

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FUCK THE HIDDEEENNNNSSS

Trauma is a strange and uniquely beautiful game that has you solving problems of a lady who’s been in a car crash and is experiencing trauma. It’s a wonderfully original concept, and one that has you trawling through as much of the game as possible to explore every nook and cranny the games levels have to offer. Trauma starts with a cutscene of a lady and a man walking down a ordinary street and getting into a car. After some lovely art work, the game makes a crashing noise, indicating that the couple have been in a car crash. The game takes place around the red haired girl recalling her life and moments through puzzles relating to the traumatic experiences in her life whilst she is in hospital undergoing treatment with a psychologist/doctor. The gameplay of Trauma is akin to that of a point and click adventure game, one that…

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FUCK THE RED HAIR

I bought The Wonderful End of the World on the Steam Indie sale a few months back as it reminded me of Beautiful Katamari from the Xbox 360. This, coupled with its cheap price made it so appealing that I bought it in a heartbeat, without really reading anything about the game and mainly judging by the screenshots alone. This past week, I managed to play the game from start to finish, and got every achievement, making sure I explored every nook and cranny this game had to offer, so without further ado, here’s what I have to say about The Wonderful End of the World. You start the game with the main menu screen (see above). From here you can change the settings if you desire, check out your trophies (they’re the same as the steam achievements), or play the game. Once you start the game, you’re presented with…

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FUCK THE SERVERSSS

I have fond memories of Torchlight on the 360, but after playing it for 14+ hours and 100% the game, I couldn’t help but feel a little deflated that there wasn’t more. Torchlight 2 came out 6 months after my first review, but due to other games and other things happening in my life, I gave it a pass as I knew I wouldn’t be able to give it the time and attention it deserved. Finally, I got Torchlight 2 for £4.99 when it was on sale in March, but even then I put playing it off until I had someone else to play with. I can safely say, that as of this week, I have played Torchlight 2 from start to finish. You start Torchlight 2 as you did the first game: selecting a class and a pet to go on your adventure with. From here, you get introduced…

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FUCK THE GIANTS

I started Reus with an open mind; I was never into God sims as a kid, and could never get into Black and White, the absolute king of the genre. But something about the promotional material and friends playtime peeked my interest in Reus, and in turn made me give the God Sim genre another go. I’m glad I did. You start of Reus with a  few tutorials to get you used to the basics of the game. You control giants which all have special, unique abilities, and you must use these abilities to the benefit of the humans inhabiting your world. There are 4 giants in total, which are as follows: The Ocean giant, swamp giant, rock giant and forest giant. Each of the giants have abilites that are quite self explanatory (£100 to anyone that can guess what each giant specialises in) but also have abilities that compliment…

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FUCK THE TITLESSSS

Organ Trail is a fantastic inventory management sim, one that scales back all graphics and polish to be as raw as possible.  It’s a strategy game at it’s best, making sure you’re not distracted by anything else but the task of keeping your party alive. You start Organ Trail shooting down zombies from the safety of a sandbag wall, mowing them down one by one until you run out of ammo. This triggers for a man to come out of the shadows and help you run down the last of the danger. You’re told that he can help you get to Washington DC, a place where your friends probably are. (A lovely side note here, you get to name your friends, which is hilarious further down the road when things start happening.) Once there, you’re tasked with scavenging items that will try and last you the rest of the game,…

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FUCK THE SELECTION

I was blown away by the Walking Dead back when I played it in January, as I’m sure many of you have heard from many publications, its a landmark game for story telling, and certainly has a uniqueness to it that’s hard to find elsewhere. 400 days is a piece of DLC to go on top of the walking dead, and is seen as a separate chapter on the chapter select screen. Each story is about 20 minutes in length, with a Epilogue that follows after completing each characters story. So for £3.99, its a nifty price for an adequate amount of content. Each story feels like a fully realised game in itself, with characters feeling extremely rich and deep. It makes you wonder what other game studios are doing with their writing staff, or whether Telltale Games have stole all the good writers of our time. When you select…

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McPixel was raved about years ago due to the developers choice to help and support people who had pirated the game through the Pirate Bay, and after it being on the Steam Summer Sale for only £0.59, I really couldn’t miss the chance to give it a go. McPixel starts as it means to go on: by making you click all over the screen in order to progress through the game. It’s the same as how you’d play a classic adventure game, so it’s pretty simple to grasp. McPixel is a bomb expert that needs to save the day in many different circumstances. Sometimes the bomb is in plain sight, other times it’s hidden, at the end of the day your job is to find the bomb and defuse it within 20 seconds. I didn’t mention that McPixel is hilarious and damn right random. Some solutions require you doing things…

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FUCK THE GORILLAAAAA

For this week I wanted to review Poker Night At The Inventory, the first Telltale Games poker game, but I found that everytime I went to start a new tournament, the game would crash on my Mac, and since I have no access to a PC at this moment in time, I had to make do and play the second game in the series. This isn’t a bad thing at all, in fact I’ve heard the second game is definitely a lot better than the first, it’s just that I wanted to see the evolution of the series for myself, not take other peoples word on it. So without further adue, here are my impressions of Poker Night 2 by Telltale Games. So as you can tell from the title of the game, Poker Night 2 is a game about poker, with a sprinkling of recognisable characters as your rivals.This…

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FUCK RPG'S

Evoland has peeked my interest ever since I first laid my eyes on it. Similar to DLC quest, you travel through the world of a RPG, constantly upgrading the gameplay/graphics as you progress. This was enticing as DLC Quest was a very short game taking the mick out of the DLC culture, so I wanted to see what Shiro games brought to the table with Evoland, as their marketing approach was definitely different to say the least. You start the game as a 2D RPG, reminiscent of Final Fantasy games of yester-year. Only able to move in certain directions, you plod along opening chest after chest. Each chest gives the game a new look or feel, one chest gives the game colour, the other, the ability to move in all directions. It all quickly adds up, and soon you’re walking around the world like you’re in a Zelda game. The game doesn’t…

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90/92